I went to the local Orthodox church yesterday morning. It’s only six or seven years old and the sanctuary is still under construction. Despite the scaffolding, it is quite beautiful. Also, I was struck by how small the sanctuary seemed after seeing the building from outside. Once Brian and I braved the gauntlet of invalids, crossed ourselves and bowed three times, we were in.
The choir was incredible. The liturgy is beautiful. The building is really cool—there’s a lattice door that separates the congregation from the guys in vestments where the power-point screen is in most churches. Behind the doors was a red curtain with the rising sun backlighting it. As it was drawn back and the doors opened… it was really cool. There was a big fancy candle thingy the priest stood in front of for most of the time.
It was confusing at times—I don't know why the Bible gets trotted out and takes a little tour of the sanctuary, along with the elements, but it does. Everyone takes their time. There is no no-huddle option for the liturgy. I liked the part where they spread incense all over the place. Not only was the smoke very pretty in the candle light, it covered the congregation’s BO.
Even though through much of the service much of the symbolism was obvious to anyone who knows their Bible, I was confused as well. All the crossing and bowing. What’s up with that? I accept and embrace crossing as an awesome part of church history and tradition we have with us today… and as long as I’m bowing to God, that’s cool. But it seemed the like the congregation subscribed to the all too common philosophy of, “If one is good, more is better.” Not that I minded—bowing nice and low is a nice stretch in the middle of all that standing.
I’ve learned a lot about the Orthodox church over the years, but nothing really prepared me for how strange and yet familiar the service would be. Maybe I’m filling too many blanks in on my own (After all, I hardly speak Russian, let alone old church Slavonic).
Still, every one of my questions or problems with the Orthodox church has a parallel in the Protestant church. It’s just that I’m comfortable with some and not with others. Mary scares a lot of Protestants almost as much as the Holy Ghost does. Hate those dorks who applaud (or shout “Amen”) every time someone says, “Jesus” or “Calvary”? I know I do. Those are the obsessive crossers (genuflectors? Sounds like a bike accessory.) and bowers.
Worried about the service being in a foreign tongue? Ever think about how much would be communicated by your church service if you couldn’t understand anything the preacher said or couldn’t read anything or couldn’t talk to anyone?
Worried about saying the same prayers every Sunday? Ever get tired of hearing the same damn requests every week? Ever forget to pray for something?
Worried about worshiping icons? Ever get confused whether you were at a concert or a church service?
Worried about wise stewardship of funds (Why waste it on gold leaf when you could help the poor!)? Ever get distracted on Sunday morning by the hideous pastel felt banner thing hanging from behind the pulpit with a dove, or possibly Texas, with an olive branch in it’s mouth on it? Ever wonder why the carpet is blue and the pews are orange?
Worried about accidentally worshiping Mary, the mother of God? Ever hear someone say from behind a pulpit that Jesus wasn’t talking to you or me, he was talking to the Jews?
I now understand much of Church history as attempts to reinvent the wheel. The true church is Orthodox. Enough from me. I very much doubt very many of you actually read all those words. The true church is Orthodox.
