Articles like
this make me mad. Jon’s already sounded off on this, but once I read it… well, here I am. Mom, you know how I get sometimes. You might not enjoy reading this one. I apologize for the abusive use of caps lock,
bold and
itlaic print.
It’s a man without a penis giving sex advice, basically.
It makes me want to flip out and kill people, in a Christ’s-love-be-with you sort of way. His intentions are good maybe, but sadly… he has no [unforgivable swear + ing] clue. Seriously, no [unforgivable swear + ing] clue. He makes four points.
1) First, he writes about being made in Gods image and not having sex with prostitutes. Great—God’s standard is very clear here. When he writes,
“Are you bearing well the image and name of a holy God by the way you conduct your relationships with the opposite sex?”, I think I understand and agree with him. However, in light of the rest of the essay, he’s really hinting that Godly people aren’t sexual. I’m pretty sure gender and sex are inherently part of our image bearing. Idiot.
2) Next, he goes on about protecting (not defrauding, is the term he likes) our sisters in Christ. He’s really big on the ‘sisters’ thing. This is his point:
“…there should be no difference in standards of physical intimacy between the single man's conduct with a single woman and my standards as an already married man.” In general, yes! I have no business fooling around with women. But that is NOT because our sexuality is dangerous and wrong but because the level of commitment and emotional intimacy make such physical interaction inappropriate. Idiot! Commitment, emotional and physical intimacy all work together—if any of the three is significantly less than the other you have a disturbed relationship and something will give. (Now that I’m an expert!) Why are long-distance relationships so hard? Not because you can’t feel each other up whenever you want—but because you hit a wall in communication. You can’t see how they’re feeling, you can’t hold their hand when you say you’re sorry or hear each other laugh of cry.
KILLING YOUR SEXUALITY IS NOT HOLINESS! Gosh.
3) We need to guard our hearts, minds, and bodies for marriage. OK, how?
“If you have failed or are failing in this area, then remember your calling and resolve to stop now and prepare yourself for marriage.” When has resolving to stop now
ever worked as and anti-sin strategy? Basically he’s telling men to try harder and not trust the grace of Jesus. In the masturbating world, we call this the “white knuckle” approach. It doesn’t work. Freedom in Christ be damned.
4) Last, the idiot talks of the “Marriage Bank”. It doesn’t open until you’re married, but men can make deposits early by being holy. Women make withdrawals. What the hell? And why is the guy the only one making deposits and the woman the only one making withdrawals? Don’t men trust and depend on their wives too? Where does the woman’s holiness go? The “Marriage Mayonaise Jar”? Under the “Marriage Mattress”? Gah!
I’ve lost a lot of respect for Focus on the Family for posting this kind of crap, even though it comes from a book edited by John Piper (et al). Screw diversity of thought. Some people are idiots. Also, what is going on with the picture at the top of the page? Talk about mixed signals!
Am I giving into a spirit of criticism? Damn right I am. I am sick and tired of Christian “men” who take this no-balls approach to life. “Men” who don’t love or trust Jesus enough to deal with their past and equate the Way with keeping your head down (think about it…). Take this sentence, for example:
“Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me to have a meal with a woman not my wife and engage in extended conversation about each other's lives (likes/dislikes/struggles/pasts)?” The “correct” answer is no, even if you’re not married.
Don’t talk to girls. Don’t think about girls. Don’t spend time with girls. And for God’s sake don’t touch girls! This is your holiness, for I am Matt Schmucker and my yoke is not at all easy and my burden is crushing, crushing, crushing men into the ground. Idiot.
Good thing freedom in Christ is real instead of this idiot schmuck’s theology. Better resources include Jesus,
LFL and Stephen Foster’s chapter on “Sexuality and Singleness” in his book
Money, Sex and Power.
